Being an Overweight Christian girl in a superficial world.

I don't know what exactly struck me to blog about this, revealing some of my worst insecurities to readers.

I guess it's because lately, through listening and helping friends with their problems, I've said this numerous times: I'm struggling with it too, I just want you to know you're not alone.

Probably because I've been struggling with ideas about being a teenager, things like accepting oneself, superficiality, dating, etc. And most of all, dealing with these as a Christian teenager.
I still have a lot of unanswered questions and this is really just a poole for my thoughts and I'd really like to hear your views on some of the issues I'm gonna bring up and will be bringing up in future. Okay, here we go:

BEING AN OVERWEIGHT CHRISTIAN GIRL IN A SUPERFICIAL WORLD

Firstly, please don't get me wrong. This is not just for Christian girls, but for all non-Christian girls. I put the word Christian there as being a Christian will strongly influence the way I address and look at this issue. All are invited to read and answer questions!

For most of, or rather, for the whole of my teenhood, I have struggled with being overweight. It doesn't help that I am short and below the average height of girls my age. Many people will say things like it's the inside that counts or beauty is just skin deep, that sort of thing.

But sometimes I question: Why can't I be beautiful even though I'm overweight? I mean, it is true that it is the inside that counts, but sometimes that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better, because ultimately, people (especially guys) look at appearances.

Why must I be skinny to look beautiful? Why can't I be big and beautiful too? (Putting the health aspect aside- right now I'm focused on weight as a factor in looks).

You know, many girls are trying to lose weight. And whether you are skinny or fat, the motivation for it is too look better.
While some are losing weight to be healthy, most of us teenagers, including myself, lose weight because we want to look better and then try to convince ourselves its because we want to stay healthy. WHY? Why do we want to convince ourselves?

Which leads to my next question: Is there anything wrong in wanting to look better?

I don't mean to say that defensively, but neutrally. I guess most of us feel guilty for wanting to look better, for putting on make up. I ask myself why sometimes I feel ashamed for wanting to look better.

I guess it is because by admitting I want to look better, I admit that looks matter to me, therefore I am superficial.
But really, does wanting to look better mean you are superficial? God created us beautiful in his image, right?

But who is to say that God doesn't want us to be beautiful in mind, spirit AND body?

So is there anything wrong with wanting to look more beautiful?

Does it mean that just because you want to look more beautiful you are discounting inner beauty?

Somehow, don't think so. I guess its important then, that we try and find out what God's definition of beauty is. On further reflection (though I do need to read up on the bible to confirm my thought), I think God's definition of being beautiful is being HEALTHY.

Therefore, it is not wrong to want to be beautiful which means being healthy which means losing weight, is it?

And another issue is... attractiveness. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to look more beautiful or pretty because I want guys to notice me. Hey, I'm human and even though I know looks don't make a strong relationship, I still feel the downness of it. Maybe some guys won't understand this, but its a struggle I still go through.

So, is it wrong to want to be more attractive to the opposite sex? Right now I'm reading a book on sexuality for young women called "Every Young Woman's Battle- Guarding your mind, heart and body in a sex-saturated world" by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Aterburn.

It says that "Part of God's perfect plan is that we are so physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually drawn to the opposite sex that we long for closeness with each other,"

See,my emphasis is on physically drawn to the opposite sex. So, thinking about ti further... God created us to be naturally physically drawn to the opposite sex... so its not wrong if you are!

However, clearly, God wants us to be physically drawn to the right person for us (I'll be blogging about the whole topic of dating and such one day).

So is it wrong if we want to look physically attractive to others? That in the hope of them being, we'll find a right one?

I guess not! Then again, there's a fine line, isn't there? Between being superficial and shallow and simply wanting to look better and nicer.

And I guess we want to look better ultimately, to be more accepted. Because in this superficial world where the media tells us whats hot and whats not, superficial beauty is a huge factor in acceptance of people.

There's also the question about just being satisfied with God accepting you.

Now I am not ashamed to say I am struggling with being fully satisfied with just God loving me, even though I'm fat. I am human and I am still struggling. That is the challenge, though, isn't it? To be so satisfied with God that you don't need human approval.

But still, didn't he build us to walk alongside humans? After all, no man is an island!

I would not say I'm superficial, I am not. I just have superficial moments. Moments when I think in a superficial way or judge superficially.

That leads me to wonder... everyone knows that words can build up or tear down and affirmation is one of the most effective ways of building someone up. Words ARE very a very important part of communication- mostly, words are direct reflections of our inner thoughts.

Most of us may think that casual phrases like "OMG HE'S SO HOT!" or "Dude, she's hot!" are harmless ones, but you know, I think that they can affect others.

I am guilty of such phrases, but isn't it only a bit of fun? (Then again, sex is, right?) Sometimes, I do get irritated when I hear guys constantly make remarks about girls, about how hot or pretty they are. Yet, I myself make such remarks when I look at guys I think are cute!

So is it right or wrong? This is something I am still pondering on... On one hand, it could be said jokingly, but on the other, it could promote this mostly unhealthy spirit of superficiality.

Phew! Seems like I've gone on forever! I've expanded from being overweight to being superficial to...so many things!

Please, please, PLEASE, I'd love to hear your thoughts, I've bolded some of the main points and questions that would be good for you to share your views! The tagboard is rather narrow, so you might want to leave a comment via the Blogger comment system below each post.

Thank you and God bless!